- Friday, July 31, 2009
assholes, assholes, assholes.
i swear you guys are worse than girls.
you guys say more shit about girls
than girls do about each other.
why did i actually want to hang out with you assholes again?
GO F YOURSELVES. EFFIN PISS ME OFF.
juuust some rant i had on my private blog:
"first of all, you're an asshole. second of all? you're still an asshole. third of all, you're a fuckin asshole. GET YOUR FUCKIN ACT TOGETHER. stop your smoking, fooling around, drinking, and all that shit. I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THAT. too bad you've been given everything you've ever wanted in life, no questions asked. you're a fuckin asshole, who needs to grow up and gain a little maturity. YOU ACT LIKE A FUCKIN 3 YEAR OLD. get it together, and no. im not sure if you'll talk to me, but trust me on this one, i wont be fuckin responding. LEARN TO TREAT PEOPLE WITH FUCKIN RESPECT. cause thats just another thing you don't do & that pisses the shit outta me. you talk about people, you switch girls, as if you're switching clothes. you say shit about your own friends, and its not just a little, its a shit load. WATCH YOUR MOUTH BUDDY, you speak your mind - yea thats a gd thing. but you act like you fuckin own the wolrd, as if everyones gotta pay up to you. no one fuckin owes you shit asshole. you piss me off you fuckin make me mad. you were so nice, until that fag came along. and the way you talk about people, just fuckin stop. youre not any higher than them, nor any better. stop calling people bitches and all that shit. and fuckin shut your damn mouth."
(sure, it's not gramatically right & all that, but it was in the spur of the moment & i had a LOT of anger to get out on this certain someone...and no, this has nothing to do with any guy i like...just someone i saw sometime this week, just reminded me of crap...)
- Tuesday, July 28, 2009
baack in SiNGAPORE!
I actually had this LONG blog entry written when I was @ Japan, but there was no internet, so I just typed it all in Microsoft Word 2007 & was planning on publishing it when I got here - but, that doesn't work cause I can't find my dad's laptop and it was typed up on his laptop! ughhs. OH, and I have like 300 pics; cause I was playing with the webcam @ the airport ++ I took like 300 pics on the plane! :) BUT, my dad just DECIDED to put his laptop in some unknown place & I can't find it! WTH. So, I'm stuck on my brother's laptop right now...while he's in BATAM enjoying himself! asshole. JUUUUST KIDDING. &&& my dad had the camera wires too, so I cant plug it into this laptop! OHGOSH.
Anyway, went to adam road presbytarian yesterday & sorry, but I did not get the sermon! After, I rebonded my hair, and now Im not allowed to wash it for 3 days - SIIIICKKKKKK. Oh & I got lost trying to cab home from Tampines yesterday! I walked around confused as shit after the cab driver dropped me off. Then, I called Pat..then Bryan (WHO IS AN IDIOOOOT!) & DARYL! :) OH and just so you know, I only got 3 hours of sleep on that day! or maybe less...
Today, I had to go get my passport & I.C. made...and EW FREAKIN PASSPORT PICS JUST EW. I looked effin FAT & extremely bad. Then, I went to shop on Orchard Road & walked all the way to somerset (when I could've just taken the stupid MRT) & back...I kept walking back and forth...(I SWEAR IM NOT AN IDIOT). After that I had to take the MRT back to AMK HUB...from there, my dad & I went to Serangoon North Ave 1. to buy food & went to Daryl's.
mmmmmm, when I got home - conference calling with Pat & Bryan...sorrY, but THAT WAS SUCH A BORING CALL, I SWEARRRRRRR. I WAS HALF DEAAAD.
& now i'm listening to Korean songs cause Keane made me listen to them, but their GOOD...but I don't understand it! OH WELL. ohohoh, then i just painted my nails cause im bored as SHIIITEEE. okay i shud sleep soon? gdnight.
- Thursday, July 23, 2009
paacking is done, it's another 18 hours til my lovely flight!
- i'm READY TO LEEEEAVEEEE, right now :)
AIRPORT, NOW!!!
(random pics from the past week, including packing!)
i'm not even gonna miss vancouver, except it's gorgeous scenery.
BESIDES THAT, nothing!
-
hahaha im in a gd mood now :) my mommy agreed to my $500 :):):):)
ohh snaaaap :D lalala i love jordin sparks' musiic!
i need to make mistakes just to learn who i am -
OMG THIS IS SO GAY.
ONE LUGGAGE? EW EW EW.
I CAN ONLY FIT SOME OF MY SHIRTS
2 OF MY BAGS. SOME SKIRTS, AND SOME DRESSES
AND LIKE 2 PAIRS OF JEANS AND 3 HOODIES.
grr my life :( haha whateverr, apparantly i should travel light?
yea, NOOOOOOOOOOO. my mom was like
WTF ARE YOU GOING FOR A FASHION SHOW. like obvs not lah
shits shits shiiiiizzza..... lol wow i make no sensssse
OMG..WHEN YOU PUT NO SENSE...TOGETHER...IT BECOMES NONSENSE
oh wait wtf, you gotta add an N..nvm :D
okay back to packing
nvm ill go get another luggage if i can....
23 kg? gay.
throww yaa haands uup- -
happy 25th wedding anniversary, mom & dad.--silver jubileeeeeee :)
----------------------------------------------------------10.05 am (21/07)
see, now that was YESTERDAY @ 10.05 am (but i had no time to publish it), when i was still fine with my parents. Then I had a random post written @ 12 in the morning today, but it didn't save...and i shut my laptop really quickly before i got the chance to post it, so...guess it's gone. As of right now, I'm pretty much pissed as fuckin shit. Honestly, my mom needs to go in for a REALITY CHECK. Firstly, don't force me to read the Bible if I don't want to - THE AMOUNT OF FORCE YOU GUYS PUT ON ME FOR RELIGION? IT MAKES ME START TO DISLIKE MY OWN RELIGION, it makes me start to treat it like some random course in high school - ALL YOU DO IS MEMORIZE, AND MOVE ON WITH IT. Secondly, you asked for the budget & I was already being kind to say I wanted $500 IF YOU WANTED TO FREAKIN INCLUDE THE COST OF FOOD WHEN I WENT OUT WITHOUT YOU GUYS...well plus my own cash of like $60/$80 CAD that i wanted to switch. So, I guess it would've been about $600? YOU GUYS JUST WANT ME TO GO OUT WITH YOU INSTEAD OF MY OWN FRIENDS, like...honestly? MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Don't fuckin say shit about me that you know nothing about - YOU'RE MY PARENTS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. LEARN TO BE MORE LIKE A PARENT INSTEAD OF COMPARING US TO EVERY OTHER EFFIN PERSON. My siblings & I - WE GET THE FUCKIN POINT: you don't think well of us, you dissapprove of what we do, you think that we're just spoiled brats, you think that we don't love you, and we KNOW you don't fuckin love us. You love all of your FRIENDS' kids, cause they're so perfect. WELL, GUESS WHAT? MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO ADOPT THEM THEN - SINCE WE WON'T FUCKIN BE GOOD ENOUGH. ohhhh, trust me on this one, i've got rants on quite a few other people too. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. Whenever i have time today? I'll be ranting.
----------------------------------------------------------01.12 pm (22/07)
- Wednesday, July 22, 2009
"it's time for make up,
perfect smile"
story of my life- putting on that show for everyone to watch, trying to seem perfect in every aspects, let's see what happens when she slowly can't take it anymore & it all falls apart...
- Tuesday, July 21, 2009
OMG OMG OMG, SOMEONE GO LOOK UP "NICK KHUN" ON GOOGLE.
FREAKINN CUTEE AS HELL MANNN! OMGGGG.
shopping? -
after an increasing number of fights, i got my shopping budget on clothes in singapore
increased to 400! sure, it's not a lot, but if i need more, my mom said
she'd give it to me :) if i really really really really really really needed it?
afterall, i guess it's more of a family tripp, spending time with family! but we all
know im a shopaholicc, hehs. but i'll use my own money too :) MAYBE I'LL USE
ALL MY MONEY IN MY BANKK. HAHHHHHHHH. :):):) ya, dreeeamon :)
&&&&&&&...red packets and birthdays and blah blah! so, i guess i'm okay with that.
anyway, i'm cooking and blogging! haha, wow, kay ... oil splatters SUCKK. but heyy
THE FOOD TASTES PRETTY GOOD ;) oh whhhat nowwww? teehees, xoxox
-
funny how you guys can say you HATE someone
and the next moment...you're takinn picss with them goin
omgggg best friends...F-A-K-E. so sick of it.
- Sunday, July 19, 2009
what the frick. apparantly my brother won't even BE around
when i arrive, he's going to effin batam. WHERE'S THAT?
i don't care - either way, he's not gonna be there
i'm asking him to leave his cell...if not HOW THE HELL CAN
I GET OUTT AND GO OUT OMGOMGOMG LAHH.
WTH. EVERYTHING WILL BE RUINED IF HE DOESN'T
LEAVE HIS CELL AT HOME OMGOMGOMG
- Saturday, July 18, 2009
ohh man, i finally pulled an all nighter & did not crash.
i'm still awake, and i gotta go out in like 2 hours.
i'm so so so so so tired...finally! if only i were this
tired at like 2 am but thank yous to
COLLEEN, PATRICK, SHILP,
BRYAN & PATRICIAA!
for making it an entertaining night on msn :)
ESPECIALLY PAT & BRYAN..
the conversation deffs kept me entertained for like
3 hourss, lovee y'all :)
msgg too paaat. -
PATRICIAAAAAA :)
okay omgomgomg, so you said a pretty
long message, but YEA that's not possible on FB!
i totally wanna change colors and fonts and BLAH BLAH BLAHH!
so ANYWAYYY, singaporee is gonna be so muchh funn :)
& we shall shop like crazy, even though i have a shittty budgett
but WHHHHHAAAAATTTTEVEERRRR.
and we're gonna shop & go to the movies :)
& crash my godma's & hang out with EVEERYONEE :)
& go to sentosaaa and crassh the beaach
aand everyone will be incredd. jealouss of uss :)
HELLLL YESS?? - i deffs think so!!!!
i'm so freeakin excitedd, kayys?!
miss you tonssss! see yaa soon :):)
-
I'M ACTUALLY GOING BACK SOOO SOON :)
(it totally just dawned on me, okay? shuudddduuup!)
7 MORE FREAKIN DAYS & I'M BACK HOME.
I WISH IT WERE SOONER BUT WHATEVER.
AHHH I MISS EVERYONE & EVERYTHING SO MUCH
i'm making sure i call EVERRYONE when i get backk :)
miss & love you guyss soo muchhhh :)
AGENDAA FOR THE NEEXT WEEEK-
saturday: church event/birthdayyy :)
sunday: churchess, as usual.
monday: REST DAY + last min shopping (if neccessary)
tuesday: Parents' 25th wed anniversary (they want us there)
wednesday: PACK PACK PACKKKKK :)
thursday: Aunty Grace arrives & more paaackingg :)
friday: BYE BYE CANADA! I'M OUTTA HERE & GOING HOMEE!
& HAPPY BIRTHDAYY DARYL FONNG,
SORRY I COULDN'T BE THERE ON TIME :(
WE SHALL HANG OUTT WHEN I GO BACKK :)
BYYEBYYYE VANCOUVER :) - Friday, July 17, 2009
one more weeek! one more week!
& i'm outta this hell holee :)
what if i said...i love you. - Thursday, July 16, 2009
rannnting like hell on my other blog...fun stuff :
-
AWE, you're so effin fake;
gosh, i'm SICK OF IT.
you're all effin FAKKKE.
OMG, i'm literally shutting myself
out from ALL OF YOU.
GROW UP - stop coming to me to complain.
be a little REAL-ER TO EACH OTHER.
i'm not speaking to any of you.
not texting, not msging - i'm gladly shutting myself out.
be a loner? I DON'T CARE. i'd rather be alone
then have to deal with all of your drama...
I HATE LIVING HERE, I HATE LIVING IN CANADA.
ii wanna move back to singapore now.
i don't JUST wanna go on a vacation to go back there.
I WANT TO STAY THERE. I HATEEEE YOU.
- Wednesday, July 15, 2009
omgg finally episode 40 for red thread is outt on mobtv
or maybe im a couple hours late.
but when i checked at 12
it wasnt...but my aunt said people in singapore
already watched it PSHHHH MAKES ME MAD.
do you know what's worth fighting for? -
So it's back again, if you don't get what i mean by "it", just go read my previous entries.
all of that, it's crap - but somehow it gives me this sense of security - it tells me that i still have a problem, that i still need help. Something about being fine scares me, it's almost like i don't want to be fine. I can't be fine, because if i'm fine and anything goes wrong - IT MEANS THAT THE NORMAL ME HAS PROBLEMS. I don't want that, and I don't want to have to have to go through any difficulties if i'm supposedly "normal". To me, NORMAL, means perfection and if i can't be perfect, I DON'T WANT TO BE NORMAL
it makes no sense to me, nor does it make sense to others - i'm just confused & frustrated within myself. DO I WANT TO BE BETTER OR NOT? - it's so hard, i want to try harder...but i can't. I DON'T WANT TO FAIL - BUT I DO...it's just hard to keep trying & to keep going.
& fyi, talking about dieting in front of me - IT'S NOT HELPING. screaming & asking me why i hurt myself...it doesn't help either. I'm not at that stage where I can tell you why I do it OUT LOUD, I haven't figured it out entirely by myself...HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU IF I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT TO MYSELF? I know that you're concerned, but i swear to you that it's not helping - it causes more shame to me...and that might be one of the reasons why i do what i do - causes more guilt. ONE DAY? WHEN I DO FIGURE IT ALL OUT, I WILL TRY TO EXPLAIN. I'LL TRY TO GET PAST THAT GUILT & SHAME ... AND EXPLAIN.
- Sunday, July 12, 2009
i dont know why im awake.
im still very mad, thanks.
-
YAY, i'm blogging everyday now.
GO ME-don't even ask why i'm awake so early
Thursday; Woke up & went to my therapist (i was a half hour late, OOPS, sorry?). So, we had a really short session - stuff to do with self invalidation. Afterwards, I went running with Wayne & Matt (I AM OUT OF SHAPE, OUT OF SHAPE, OOUUUTT OOFFF SHHHHAAAPPE - ew fatass). We went for bubble tea :) then went to the mall, where sephora was open..ONE DAY EARLY! I went in to explore, but couldn't buy new makeup since I JUSST got some & since my mom would freeeeak out @ me! I bought nail polish though, OHH LOVE THE COLOR :) & got a free sephora tote bag :O , NOT BAD NOT BAD :). Went home & was exhausted.
Friday; WOOORK & HOUSEWORKK since my mom just had her surgery on thursday, i was left doing everything since my sister's too busy with her 8 page essay ;) . I was so tired that I slept @ 9.30, but woke up @ 2.30 in the morning, due to text msgs! SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING, i know that i usually do, especially if it's only at 9--i even wake up just to respond @ times...but i was too tired! SORRY!
btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAYY NIIIIICK.
wow i haven't done birthdayy posts at all, LOL,
but since i have time i just thought i'd say happy birthdayy to him :)
- Friday, July 10, 2009
so i'm shaking, my heartbeat's racing.
there's nothing that would make me that way.
what the hell is happening to me.
i feel like i'm about to heart attack.
yeah, at 16? i don't think so.
ahh i'm scared - i want to go to bed but i can't sleep.
IT'S NOT EVEN EXCITEMENT.
-wth is wrong with me all of a sudden
it's not emotions, it's nothing?
plane crashh? -
so, apparantly a plane just crashed in richmond.
ohmy, ohmy - oh but i just painted my nails.
but yes, i just thought i'd blog about how the plane crashed.
that's so sad :( good thing it wasn't like where the
houses were, it was on the industrial side!
i'm the perfect disaster. -
what's with the hypocrisy these days?
-not saying that i'm innocent of it at all.
but realize this, it's everywhere.
-we live in a world filled with hypocrisy, contradictions, and lies-
deal with it, cause there's no way you can change it.
it's what our world has come to & it's how it will be.
here we go again - Wednesday, July 8, 2009
17 more days! - as you can tell, i'm excited as hell! OMG IT RHYMES :)
So here's a long post? but a short update? :)
i won't go into detail about anything!
WE SHALL START FROM...JUNE 25 :)
June 25: It was report card pick up day! & here are my final grades for ACADEMICS, i will NOT mention the rest (they were terrible!). MATH: 96%, ENGLISH: 90%, SCIENCE: 93%, SOCIALS 91% or was it 90%? - but i got 93% in second semester with Lloyd (which I am so proud of!) I DID BETTER WITH HIM THAN I DID WITH MISS VAESSEN!! Afterward - Sadaf, Kellyanne, Keireen & I went off to the mall! Shilp & Jeff came to join us after; it was ... eventful? :) HAHA, I don't really know. Afterward, I watched Transformers 2 with Kellyanne; AMAZiNG MOViE. I changed my status on facebook & a COUPLE OF PEOPLE (whom i will not mention) would not stop responding to & I ended up getting NON STOP TEXT MSGS (I couldn't respond to actual text msgs from actual people, besides facebook!). SOME WEIRD REASON; that led me to be depressed that night & drink a crapload of baileys til i passed out. NOT FUN.
June 26: HUNNNGOVERRR & watched MobTV :) - didn't watch it in awhile! WORK AFTER.
June 27: WORKK (11-7) & MobTV :)
June 28: I was sick & skipped church (BOTH CHURCHES!). Afterward, I had to go to Aunty Serene's house for a dinner & to see my third grand aunty who just arrived :)
June 29: My family & I had iHOP in the morning (mmmm, the food was GOOD!) -LOVED IT, it was good family time. AFTER? my parents broke the news to me that there was a possibility to go back to singapore - it led to an argument, which left me in tears (BUT AS WE ALL KNOW IM GOING BACK! 100% sure!). I went for a run after, and had lunch @ Aunty Serene's.
June 30: I went for a haircuut :) & went off to the mall with SADAF.
July 1: CANADA DAY, we went to whistler (i will deffs post pics of the gorgg scenery there!) with aunty serene & her family! IT WAS SO CROWDED & we got to see waterfalls, nature stuff, etc.
July 2: I went to see my therapist & my parents wanted to look at houses?
July 3 & 4: weeeent to worrk?
July 5: WENT TO CHURCH, COPA CAFE, CHURCH then aunty serene's for dinner.
July 6: I STAYED HOME & RESTED :)
TODAY: I went to the mall to shop for gifts!!! :) & MY PARENTS GOT ME A NEW GUESS BAG FOR MY GOOD GRADES :) (loveeyaas!) I got a new book & a word search :) NERD? i know :) Went over to Aunty Sarah's house for a dinner. NOW IM TIRED.
(pics from whistler)
(soooo many people - maaaadness)
(gorgeous waterfall?)
(the place was paaaackedd)
(tooodayyy's piccs)
(NEW GUESS BAG, xoxos.)
(the gifts i have for people, well - some for myself)
(PATRICIA - that's the shirt! hope you like it!)
(random camwhoring? does it look weird? :( mehh.)
XOXO, goooodnight -my dears.
personality quizzes - Tuesday, July 7, 2009
why the hell is this so true?
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
- Friday, July 3, 2009
goingbackgoingbackgoingbackgoingbackgoingbackgoingback
SO EXCITED!!
lol, i was like - OMG, SO LAZY TO BLOG!!!
but, i ended up talking to people on msn & i was like
kay whateverr, blogblogblog.
lol im watching the real world:cancun? - ithink,
paris hilton's new bfffff & so you think you can dance.. :)
& i'm doing an egg white + honey maskk. lol imma go wash it off.
5 mins later...wth, who got kicked outtt or paris hilton's new bfff
& so you think you can dance? oh man i'm so confused.
oh oh oh nvm, now law & order: uk started!!!!
i totally just started watching it. wthhh.
mmmmm, i was listening to energy on muchh just now :)
ahh i wanna listen to it again. miss that song budds.
lol imma kp randomly blogging for the next hour..
@ random times
10.09 - LOVE BRIT ACCENTS ;)
10.13 - lol just washed mask off properly..face
feels clleeeeannn. ah shit laundry to do.
10.29 "forensicate isn't a word?" LOL THAT'S ALL
I'VE HEARD OF LAW & ORDER: UK i'm not paying attention fyi.
10.36 - WOAHH, GOOD ARGUMENT. i sooo wanna be a lawyer
"mr slate, questions NOT SONGS" "Yes, my lord - sorry"
haha this guy is such a bad guy, but SO GOOD at going against
the prosecution, dayum hes good.
10.39 - find luke slade guilty of david acriwelds murder - LMAO I UNOE HOW TO SPELL THIS CRAP
10.40 - "please let me live whats left of it"
- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG FIND HIM GUILTY YOU LOSERS. ------
- FIND HIM GUILTY, EW HIS EVIL SMILE, LK AT IT!----
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GUILTY. f himmm. (10.41)
NOT GUILTY? EFFIN IDIOTS, LK AT THAT SMUG FACE.
lol wigs - omg the girl hates the prosecution now omgomgomg
royal pains lks like a gd series (10.41/42)
10.47 - gotta get off laptop
- Wednesday, July 1, 2009
sooo tired, slept at 2 woke up at 5.45
happy canada day, CANADA :)
-gosh knows i'd rather be saying
happy national day to singapore though.
BUT GUESS WHAT? I WILL BE DOING THAT THIS YR
that's right, I'M GOING BACK :):):)
parents just told me yesterday
not fully confirmed but like, 99.9999999% sure ;)
i'''''mmmmmm goinggggg backkkk.
yea sorry im just plain tired.
happy 25th wedding anniversary, mom & dad.
(PATRICIA - that's the shirt! hope you like it!)
(random camwhoring? does it look weird? :( mehh.)