I'm SCARED. - Monday, January 19, 2009
i'm scared? scared of rejection,scared of failure,scared of anything going wrong in my life.I can't deal with not getting what I want, I can't, WHY? WHY DO I RESULT TO THE WORSE DECISIONS TO DEAL WITH THIS? I need to learn that life isn't going to be perfect, but I guess I can't accept that fact, I'm too used to having it my way, and having no one really checking up on me. Now, it's turned into a horrible problem & I don't get how to deal. I'm SCARED, that it's getting worse everyday, especially with me hiding it. I think that I'm using this as a way to escape, and getting everything to go my way, I'm afraid if I stop, I won't get what I want. To me, I CAN'T HAVE THAT. I need to understand, though I already do, it seems like I can't accept the fact. EVERYTHING WILL NOT BE PERFECT, EVERYTHING WILL NOT GO MY WAY, I NEED TO LEARN THAT, I REALLY DO. If not, this will get bad, and I do know that. Now, it's all going wrong, but, everyone else will let me have my way, but I can't change myself, I need to, it won't get better, unless I do.
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